Today, someone sent me an 'Irish Friendship Wish.' Fine. I like friends. And I like the Irish, generally. You know, as much as I generally like any nationality. Except the Germans.
But this 'Friendship Wish' was like a dirty bomb in my email inbox. Just read:
An Irish Friendship Wish (Good Luck!! I hope it works...)
May there always be work for your hands to do
May your purse always hold a coin or two
May the sun always shine on your window pane
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain
May the hand of a friend always be near you
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you
Not bad, right? Hackneyed and unimaginative, but kind enough in its sentiment. Nice.
Then, THIS:
OK, this is what you have to do...Send this to all of your friends...including the one who sent it! But - you HAVE to send this within 1 hour From when you open it!
Now................Make A wish!!!!!!
I hope you made your wish! Now then, if you send to:
1 person --- your wish will be granted in 1 year, 3 people --- 6 months, 5 people --- 3 months, 6 people --- 1 month, 7 people --- 2 weeks, 8 people --- 1 week, 9 people --- 5 days, 10 people --- 3 days, 12 people - -- 2 days, 15 people --- 1 day, 20 people --- 3 hours
If you delete this after you read it . You will have 1 year of bad luck! But .. If you send it to 2 of your friends you will automatically have 3 years of good luck!!! )
WTF?? What is this? A fucking ransom note? It's like a curse. The kind soul who sent this to me thought it would be nice to send me a little 'luck,' but didn't consider for a moment the THREAT at the bottom of the letter? 'You will have 1 year of bad luck!'
Hey, thanks so much for the email and the TASK of having to send this fucking thing to 20 people if I want to see my 'luck' change in 3 hours. You know what? I'd rather get viagra spam than this kind of superstitious black cloud sent my way.
And besides, the only reason you sent this to me in the first place was so you could cover your ass on YOUR end in order for this witch's spell to work for YOU.
This is the problem with the internet. It engenders unbelievable selfishness. Just cuz you want luck, you're willing to throw me under the bus??
Well, no thank you, Irish Witch. I want no part of your (likely) pagan rituals of luck and curses. It's done you no good as far as I can tell and every time I look for a pot of gold under your damn rainbows over the Valley, all I find is Burbank.
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