Advance Forgiveness

Just forgive this little outburst, okay?

I know we'll be finding out very very soon why Paris Hilton can't seem to tolerate the LA hoosegow like she said she was gonna. Chances are she'll have some kind of 'medical condition' that will be better monitored at home. Sore Vagina Syndrome. Rectal Leakage. Chronic Penile-Induced Uvula Bruising.

My suspicion - based on years of medical training and a close observation of the subject - is much simpler.

I think she's mentally retarded.

And not just a little.

I'm pretty sure she's got the full-blown retardation.

God, I hope she'll be okay.

Comments

[Jack Hannibal]

Hey. Funny. I like the ones about the curtain and American Idol kid best.

[MJ]

I think "Paris" (I put her names in quotes because she is nothing like the real thing) is like a fly. A hunk of living flesh that has no real value, save nutritive, that should only live an average of five days, and flits about in ones face. Own up to your mistakes, say "Darn it, I got caught," buck up and be a real woman/person. This whole medical condition thing is humorous, cuz obviously the chick has major mental problems -- just not ones that preclude one from being in jail.